This season. It’s abundant with waiting.
And it’s teaching me a thing or two or ten.
Waiting is teaching me to find the wonder and mystery in not knowing. In not being able to snap my fingers and create a pretty, perfectly styled Instagram-worthy image or weighty checklist.
Waiting is teaching me to listen to the honest emotions springing to the surface.
Waiting is inviting me to pay attention to simple beauties like pretending to have a conversation from the geese’s point of view with our oldest and racing around the park on bikes.
Waiting is teaching me to embrace – not run- from stillness.
Waiting is teaching me to focus instead of attempting to distract with a fafillion multi-tasking projects that leave me overwhelmed and with no sense of truly being present.
Waiting is teaching me to fight though the noise and enjoy faces and conversations and the mundane. To dance in the routine of everyday tasks begging to be accomplished.
Waiting evokes anticipation.
We are a go go go society. We like to have answers and positive outlooks and a plan.
And I like to be in front, leading with a plan, inviting others to come along, and I’m sitting in the stark contrast of quiet stillness.
Is there protection in it being quiet? I’m thinking yes.
There’s a heart tenderness in not needing to run frantically from one thing to the next. There’s also a sneaky voice that hisses, Your stuff doesn’t matter. That’s why you’re waiting.
So I’m shushing the voices and the scary thoughts that come up when I want to careen down the highway on my beach cruiser with a big.fat.plan.
I’m thinking God is preparing us when there’s little to distract us other than His voice.
So I’m finding myself there. Being honest with him. Going to bed telling him when I feel angry at his lack of pep talks and itineraries and bullet-point agendas.
I’m doing lots of listening and embracing the wonder of not needing to be in control or in charge or have even the slightest glimmer of what’s down the road.
Waiting is stretching me like taffy ’til i feel I may tear in two stringy pieces, but it’s also taking out the extra and using basic ingredients.
So I’m starting there.
In the waiting.
And there’s room if you want to join.